Deep Thoughts Of An Over-Tired Mother

Parenting is not for wimps. If it’s not lost sleep or illness or picky eaters, it’s skinned knees, sibling rivalry, or difficult friends. Not to mention fashion demands, technology desires, and piano practice debacles. There are days I can handle it all: take it all in stride. I can juggle lessons, rehearsals, tears.

Yes…there are days I can handle all that. But they are few and far between. Mostly I feel like I can barely keep my head above water. (Which reminds me: sign the kids up for swimming lessons, for Pete’s sake.…)

I imagined, foolishly, that when they were out of diapers and into school, things would settle down. Level out.

Boy, was I wrong. Turns out that those pre-school days were really “the good old days”. Pre-school = pre-running from place to place, pre-wanting to have friends over as often as possible, pre-being picky about clothes…not to mention pre-drama.

The funny thing is, I was eager for all of this! I wanted to see my kids grow up, to see how they would “pan out” as people, to get to know them as teenagers and adults. I know, I know…enjoy each moment as it comes, right?

My husband told me that when I was looking forward to our oldest child’s first steps. “I can’t wait for him to run around!” I said one evening, some 13 years ago…and my wise husband said, “It will all be gone so fast. Enjoy this now.”

I am so glad I have a level-headed, logical, let’s-look-at-this-from-all-possible-angles kind of husband. He balances my freaking out.

And maybe, someday, I’ll actually be able to apply what he says on my own prior to leaping before I look.

Maybe. Don’t hold your breath, though.

What I really want, what I really hope to be someday, is a mom who supports her kids (within reason), a mom who loves her kids (even when they’re being stinky), a mom who challenges her kids and encourages them to be all that they can be (without forcing expectations or demands upon them). I want them to love Jesus, not because their parents say they should, but because they truly choose, with all understanding, to do so. And I want them to be able to look back on their childhood with joy…as opposed to running to the telephone book to look up a therapist.

That’s what’s on my mind today. What’s on yours?

4 Responses

  1. Barb Atchison

    I totally agree with both you and your husband. Yes, you can hardly wait to see how they turn out and YES you need to enjoy it now. Those first 18 years go by way to quickly! One thing I can say for certain is that when you have laid the groundwork correctly…they eventually “clean up good” even when there have been those “stinking” times you describe. Mine sure did. And today, they are not just my successful children of 34, 32 and 30 years, parents of my grandkids, but they are my best friends as well!

  2. 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement, Barb! I am for sure looking forward to the day when they’ll be my friends…AND I shall try my best to enjoy the here and how when I’m less their friend and more their…boss?! Cheers to both!

  3. With your attitude and perspective, you are already focused on what is good and right for your three. I have no doubt your kids will “pan out.”

    And I totally understand having a husband who deals with freaking out by the wife/mother. God knew what He was doing when He chose our spouses for us.

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